Psalms 5:9, 11 – When I cry unto Thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me….In God have I put my trust; I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.
Eventually we all must learn the lesson of what to do with fear. I was leaving my comfort zone when I left my beloved Maine for the unknown shores of India. It had been nearly three decades since I last ventured across the seas to do a work for God. But I had been asked by the President of Kerala Baptist Bible College to be a guest professor the last 40 days of the school year. I had known of this work in India for many years and had always desired to teach on the college level. However, I never imagined that God would choose an isolated place nine thousand miles away to grant my wish. Both spiritual and natural fear took turns challenging my heart as to why I should stay home and allow someone else to go. Adding to that fear was the devastating news that my wife had developed breast cancer. The question of how or should I leave her raced in my mind. From January to October of 2005, I battled the demon of fear.
It was during the time span that covered several operations and extensive cancer treatments that I began to notice a small black and white cat periodically wandering around the church building. At first I didn’t take much notice of the little creature. I have never had a very good relationship with any cat although I grown up around cats most of my life. On a working dairy farm,there could be two dozen felines at any one time and I hardly remember when there wasn’t at least one or two living in the big barn. My wife, however, had a different upbringing. Due to family health issues, cats were not allowed in her home. Because of this, it wasn’t very long into our marriage we acquired our first cat. Over the years many cats have inhabited the parsonage for varying lengths of time. Yet it was quite unexpectedly that this troubled little stray came into my life. He was fairly pitiful looking and appeared to be in some need of nourishment. It was then my wife reminded me of a bag of cat food rejected by our spoiled Precious Pearl. What harm could there be in sharing some cast-off food with a stray???
While preparing for the trip to India, I began setting out food. For days I wouldn’t see the shy little kitty but the food always seemed to disappear. On my way to work in the morning I could be heard shouting that he had nothing to fear from me. All to no avail. It didn’t take me long to learned that fear had complete control of the abandoned kitten. I knew that the little cat that hid each time I came near was only protecting itself from what he saw as a threat.
Isn’t that how it is with fear. It can have complete control over us and like the little stray cause us to hide. But what we learn in the Bible is that fear can’t be ignored or denied. It must be confronted and conquered. If not, whatever we fear will haunt and harass us until it conquers us.
As my new neighbor was learning each time he came out of hiding and got a bit closer to me, he began to learn that this man could be trusted. After a length of time this little cat let get close enough to pet him. Then he finally trusted me enough to come into the church for his food. It was during this time I realized I was doing the same thing with God. As the days drew closer to my departure for India, I was coming to a place where I was surrendering completely to the will of my Master. It reminded me of Jesus experience in the Garden of Gethsemane when he yielded completely to the will of his Father. The three trips he made between his disciples and praying is a sure sign that there was some fear about he future he needed to conquer. Christ was entering into a realm he had never entered before. The realm of death. Near the end of his struggle with what lie ahead, Jesus yielded his will and promptly put his trust in the Father. I watched this little stray do the same thing. One morning when I called he came as if I were a lost friend returning from a very long trip. Trust had conquered fear in the end. It was then I realized if one of God’s small creatures could learn that lesson then so should I!! I can honestly say that my India experience was one of the most trusting things I have ever done in my life. However, it could never be compared to the day at the age of seven I put my trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour.
The exhortation I learned from Eddie is this. There is only one remedy for fear and it is best stated by the Psalmist when he wrote: “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” (Psalms 56:3) The second we feel fear coming over us we must replace it with trust. It is what Eddie does each and every time I come up on him suddenly. Eddie is still a very vigilant cat. He is still very careful around strangers. But what tickles my heart is when I call his name or whistle. He changes directions quickly and comes willingly to my side. What has changed? He has come to trust me. I, as well, have come to a new understanding of how to trust God. When He calls my name I no longer fear what He has in store for me. I tell people that from now on my life will be seen in two parts – before India and after India. My experience in trusting God was that dramatic. In many ways I have a cat to thank for that. He showed me how to use ‘trust against fear’ in a very practical way!!